so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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