The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
