Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
