Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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