i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
