White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
