No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize