Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
