OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
