he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
