Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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