I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
