Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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