it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
