Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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