careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
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