like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
