NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
