The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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