I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
