It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
