Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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