Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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