I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize