so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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