Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
