My nipple is on Facebook.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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