I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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