i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
