Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
