either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
