Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I need to align my fucking chakras
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
