So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
