I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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