Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
