I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
