dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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