And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize