We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
