Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
