drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
