I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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