Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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