Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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