So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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