i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wear drunk well.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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