I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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