yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
