She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
