just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
