I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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