Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
