who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
