It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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