i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
