ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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