Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
