She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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