I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
