No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
